December 18, 2024
An article I quite like, taking some notes to remind myself to work hard on this in daily life
Many principles seem like everyone knows them when spoken, but as the old saying goes, “easy to know, hard to do.” My own proactiveness isn’t high, and I’ve realized this problem and am trying to improve. Why care about proactiveness? I think many things are built through interactions between people. Being proactive creates opportunities, not being proactive means no opportunities at all. But why is this so difficult?
Assuming proactiveness is really this good, why doesn’t everyone do it? Is being proactive too difficult? Specifically, what does proactiveness mean in life? It might mean proactively contacting friends to hang out, proactively getting to know others. Same at work - have you proactively communicated more with colleagues, proactively asked for guidance, proactively shared?
It’s more like being a player rather than an NPC.
The author said something interesting - as we age and our abilities decline in various aspects, we compensate through proactiveness, calling it “determination to achieve goals.” Kevin Kelly said the same thing: Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ Points. Enthusiasm is equivalent to 25 IQ points.
1. Ask for things. Used to being rejected.
If you want something, just ask directly. Being rejected is the most insignificant thing. Growth mindset vs fixed mindset You clearly want it but didn’t say it - what’s that mindset? Afraid of others’ opinions, afraid of rejection. The human’s primitive biological brain lived in collectives, and if a person was excluded from the collective, it was equivalent to death. This might be why people are so afraid of others’ gazes - there’s a joke that many people would rather die than give a speech in public. But in modern life, this mindset has become a huge disadvantage. Letting others hear your voice is very important and won’t be harmful. It’s difficult for humans to overcome nature, but this is worth doing and should be done.
There’s also an “I’m not good enough” mindset, afraid of others discovering your true level.
This is precisely the worst thing, easily falling into a closed spiral. Change comes from opportunities, from collisions, but this mindset leads to no longer trying.
No longer trying is equivalent to death. Remember, you’re a player, not an NPC.
2. Increase your surface area for luck
There are too many discussions about luck vs effort. The most famous might be Buffett’s metaphor about winning the ovarian lottery. Good luck still comes from opportunities - if someone tries ten times, the probability is much higher than trying once. And it’s easier to form a virtuous cycle later.
In the social media era, there are more ways to increase luck. Luo Yonghao said that in this era, there’s no such thing as unrecognized talent - with Douyin, Bilibili, and Xiaohongshu.
The best method is to share what you’re doing on social media, that’s it.
3. Assume everything is learnable
Behind this is actually confidence. The term “makehift team” (grassroots team) has become popular everywhere. I often think about my elementary school classmates - the gap wasn’t that big. But by middle age, the difference in life outcomes is huge. What caused this? Personal effort certainly accounts for a large part, but beliefs might also account for a large part. And various factors superimpose on each other - beliefs, effort, positive feedback.
Most things can be learned. Not advanced mathematics, or deep technical skills. For ordinary people, just getting started with a skill is enough. I can think of two obvious examples: many people of the previous generation would say they can’t learn to drive, and many would say they can’t learn English. There’s a common trap here - easily setting the highest measurement standard. For English, it must be fluent with good pronunciation, otherwise they mock themselves for not learning it at all, and then stop learning.
Sometimes I feel that things always come back to the few most basic mindsets. Do you have courage? Can you accept yourself as you are? Can you accept being laughed at? Do you have confidence?
Things don’t crush people, but people’s panic about things can crush people.
4. Agency has built our world
The most abstract human skill is that people can recognize their own concepts and adjust their concepts to interact with the outside world. MBTI is very popular now, and J people and P people. What’s interesting about people is that people’s self-perception acts back on themselves. If a person thinks they are introverted, they’re more likely to choose introversion. If a person thinks they are casual rather than liking to plan, they more easily choose to go with the flow.
“The world is a very malleable place. If you know what you want, and you go for it with maximum energy and drive and passion, the world will often reconfigure itself around you much more quickly and easily that you would think.” Marc Andreessen
“世界是一个非常可塑的地方。如果你知道自己想要什么，并且以最大的能量、动力和激情去追求它，世界往往会比你想象的更快、更容易地围绕你重新配置。” Marc Andreessen
Realize that this world is malleable, realize that you are malleable, go build the life you want.
